Noah is Dead

There is always time

Just reminding you, old sport

Keep you chin up and all that nonsense

Goddamn

My mind is at it again

aimlessly wandering

meandering

thinking about what could have been

questions?

well over a million

I listen for the sound of your voice

all I hear is the stillness in the wind

uncomfortable silence  

slip me in the tub

I’m drowning

I’m trying to find someone

searching for a place

somewhere to hang my head

somewhere to lay in bed

sleep through winter

until it’s green outside

I want to see your eyes again

see you smile again

just look at you

eyes

a deeper blue 

lips

a brighter red

only you can ease the thoughts spinning around my messy head

you can open my heart

see what I’m made of 

before I rip myself apart

the silence is hard

I want to know your heart

but I don’t

and I can’t help but spin

toss

turn

rip the sheets off my bed

making it hard to account for the thoughts running through my head

making it hard to be a man

I just want to know

couldn’t we be together

I’m finding my direction

east, north east

I see your silhouette in the pale lifeless light of 3am

I miss my friend 

this cigarette

this gin

only make my mind a mess 

instant reminders of the time we had

it wasn’t long

any amount wouldn’t have been enough

maybe that’s why I feel so bad

maybe that why I can’t get you out of my head

always spinning

dancing till the sun comes back 

and warms our paling skin

goddamn

I got it bad

1.Get back in school

2. Start cooking again

3. Tattoos

4. Keep writing

5. Go out more

6. Have a good time